Never forgot to forgive

Revenge is a very important part of adulthood ;-) I am sure you are now immediately reminded of the last insult made at you. Most of us are waiting to pay-back the insult at the most opportune moment... We cannot accept somebody insulting or scolding us. Our ego gets very hurt.

Were we always like this? I don't think so. Kids know how to forgive; maybe until they learn the word "revenge".

My kids are too young to even forgive. I have a nephew who is 7 years old. I do not scold him, but his mom (my sister) does scold him, beat him, shout at him when he mis-behaves. My nephew becomes immediately silent, remorse, also starts crying, closing his eyes. His mom is happy she taught him a lesson which should make him mend his ways. Has she succeeded ?

No not really. It takes only 5 minutes. My nephew is back to his antics. He forgets the incident. He is back to his mom, hugging her and chit-chatting continuously. Oh! what a wonder. After all the shoutings, he has no hard feelings. Is he actually mature enough to realize that his mom scolded him for his own good? Nope, high hopes. He has no hard feelings only because he is not as mature as us adults. For him, fun and learning is more important, rather than worrying about scoldings.

Now as adults, do we ignore our parents' scoldings ? No, we keep the bad feeling lingering in our mind for long time, even if revenge is not applicable for parents ;-)

The lesson is to forgive and forget. It is not worth to spend energy on revenge and bad feelings. I came to know recently that medical research has proven that negative feelings burn 3 times more energy than positive feelings !!

So, let us enjoy and turn our foes into friends...

Benchmark against Humans - God's greatest machines

In the world of software development (in fact in any industry), quality is an important part and process is the way of life. Companies compete to reach highest CMM, ISO, PCMM standards. It is more of a pride to announce a company's quality position !! There is a constant benchmarking against competitors to enhance the standards... But, are we near to the goal of high quality and efficient process ??

To answer this, we should look beyond industries. Well, look at humans ! Humans are one of God's best creations. We are wonderful machines with highest efficiency, great defense systems, n-level recovery capabilities and not the last, well engineered production systems !!

Most amazing of humans is the process of reproduction. If you sit back and slowly understand the process from conception to delivery - you cannot but sit in awe. A very well built system with high precision of multiple stages with clockwork efficiency. Your kid at birth has already come a long way. To only understand this process, we need several hundred years more.

It only emphasis the common industry quotes - "Quality is a continuous process", "There is no finish line with Quality", "Improving Process capability".

So, let us not be happy with earthly comparisons; let us benchmark ourselves to our own selves !!

I bet you now feel, we have a long way to go....

It is important to learn from failures

As adults, we are afraid of failures ! We want to succeed always. Ah! what a pity? We do not understand the value of failures. We are told from the beginning that we should always win in a competing world. With this, we have already blocked one source of learning in our lives..

Do kids fear failures !? They do not know the word "failure" when they are born. They start their life only with failures. They start with a clean pad - as they grow they have to build perceptions, knowledge, feelings, IQ, personality.

Kids always learn from failures. It starts with locating the source of mother's milk and goes on with other activities like bringing hand to mouth, getting attention by crying, grasping with fingers, turning over and so on and lot more...

If they knew the fear of failure, they would have stopped enjoying childhood, stopped learning new skills, stopped having fun, stopped thrilling others..

We adults know the fear of failure, so we have some thinking to do; have we stopped enjoying adulthood, have we stopped learning new skills, have we stopped having fun, have we stopped being a joy for others...

Well, let us accept failures and learn from them. For no reason, have they said "Failures are stepping stones to success".

Positive words elicits positive atmosphere

In a lot of behaviour trainings, it is always explained how important it is to use positive words in inter-personal communication. It motivates people and builds up a healthy working atmosphere. These are nice to hear, but not easy to implement in a working atmosphere under pressure.

This theory got emphasized very much with my kids. I have twin daughters who are 3 months young now. It is very clear to them that they will laugh or smile back at you, only if you smile or laugh at them !!! They already demand positive energy. I have tried frowning at them, they frown back. I sometimes speak to them in a scolding tone, anyway they do not understand what I say !! But, alas their expression goes to sadness or complete dis-interest.

But, almost always, when I smile to them or talk to them in a very positive tone, I get back that smile which we always admire from kids - the one thing which makes us forget all the hardships and sacrifices behind rearing kids !

So, it is really true that positive energy builds a healthy atmosphere !!