To get noticed - Demand and Perform

In the current fast paced industry, it is imperative for executives to keep stretching the extra mile to out-perform previous achievements, to exceed expectations, to distinguish against colleagues.

But it is surprising that kids exhibit the same behaviour already. Maybe it is in the genes...

My babies have already started competing against each other. It is amazing that my twin 1 already realizes that twin 2 is her competitor at home. They of course do not know how they look yet, but know like whom they look !! They are competitors for love, affection, grasp, embrace, food.

My twin 2 realized much early in life that to grab attention, she needs to demand. This was her first instinct. She used to screech for her slightest need. She demanded attention, demanded embrace. We had no choice but to stop what we are doing and attend to her. And, as she grew up, she realized that people notice and enjoy when she performs something new. So, when she is in a good mood, she tries out all new things like getting to a crawling position, clapping, winking.. She knows that everyone looks at her and not her sister when she performs !!

Now my twin 1 is not far behind. Though slow, she understood the pre-requisites to grab attention by watching twin 2 and our reactions. She is doing the same things now of demanding attention. She performs by giving a wide smile rather than trying out new things. But, she has also learnt to perform.

So, babies know that only if you demand and also perform, you can get noticed. This is a lesson for executives. In a competitive world, you need to distinguish yourself, get yourself noticed to move ahead than other peers.

Stand apart, move fast !

Training is 10%, Attitude is 90%

In the corporate world, we depend a lot of training programmes to get our executives prepared for the new challenges, new technology, new domain, new skills ! Rather, we most of the time, depend only on training as our risk mitigation for something new and unknown.

In my experience, training is only an initiation, but does not result in skill upgrade immediately. And, the time to acquire varies very largely across individuals...

This fact only got re-inforced with my kids. For my kids, every day, every situation is a training. My twin girls have the perfect setting for a comparison (though I am strictly advised not to do this !).

They have been brought up exactly in the same environment (my home), exactly under the same trainers (I mean parents), exactly started with a clean slate (fresh neuron cells). Should this not translate to they acquiring exactly the same skills in the same timeframe !

But alas, as expected, they are learning differently, at their own paces with varied skills. So, it makes me think aloud.. What is the reason ?? Should they not be same since we almost maintained the external factors same ??

The truth is that training is only the beginning and not the end. Capabilities, Aptitude, Interest, Attempts, Desire differ from person to person, baby to baby ! I sum all this under "Attitude".

So, more effort is needed in Attitude to acquire skills !! When babies have attitudes, should we say more about mature adults !!!

Well folks, training is nice to put on paper as a solution, but the truth lies elsewhere...

Relationship scores over Money

My kids are now in their sixth month. They observe, prefer, enact, demand, choose.. Nice to watch them grow. But, they still do not know about money. I would like to quote the below incident.

We visited a relative recently. We took my kids along. Their first trip to someone else's house. It was an experiment on them. They got along very well with the people of the house. They went to everyone and did not make any noise. Surprising... While it was time to leave, as it is the custom in Indian homes, they gave my kids some sugar and money. It was a Rs. 100/- note. First time my kid is seeing money. She has of course seen paper and books before. Not surprisingly, the treatment my daughters gave to the 100 rupee note was not different than a book or paper !! Crumple(!) is the first instinct when they see paper. Time will take care of them saving money. For now, they leave money matters to their parents..

Babies do not understand money. But they do understand affection. We did not have to teach them how to understand love, how to smile, how to respond to human touch, how to enjoy the warmth of mother, and so on.

Need I say more, affection wins hands down against money. Affection is natural, Money is articificial. Money was created by Man to live within a society. But, affection is a basic instinct.

Money is needed to lead a life, but affection is priceless !!!

In the corporate situation, affection maps to the Relationship with partners, colleagues, customers. Relations should not be sacrificed for sake of Money. Money is a necessary evil, but with due consideration for healthy relations can in turn lead to more money !!

Never forgot to forgive

Revenge is a very important part of adulthood ;-) I am sure you are now immediately reminded of the last insult made at you. Most of us are waiting to pay-back the insult at the most opportune moment... We cannot accept somebody insulting or scolding us. Our ego gets very hurt.

Were we always like this? I don't think so. Kids know how to forgive; maybe until they learn the word "revenge".

My kids are too young to even forgive. I have a nephew who is 7 years old. I do not scold him, but his mom (my sister) does scold him, beat him, shout at him when he mis-behaves. My nephew becomes immediately silent, remorse, also starts crying, closing his eyes. His mom is happy she taught him a lesson which should make him mend his ways. Has she succeeded ?

No not really. It takes only 5 minutes. My nephew is back to his antics. He forgets the incident. He is back to his mom, hugging her and chit-chatting continuously. Oh! what a wonder. After all the shoutings, he has no hard feelings. Is he actually mature enough to realize that his mom scolded him for his own good? Nope, high hopes. He has no hard feelings only because he is not as mature as us adults. For him, fun and learning is more important, rather than worrying about scoldings.

Now as adults, do we ignore our parents' scoldings ? No, we keep the bad feeling lingering in our mind for long time, even if revenge is not applicable for parents ;-)

The lesson is to forgive and forget. It is not worth to spend energy on revenge and bad feelings. I came to know recently that medical research has proven that negative feelings burn 3 times more energy than positive feelings !!

So, let us enjoy and turn our foes into friends...

Benchmark against Humans - God's greatest machines

In the world of software development (in fact in any industry), quality is an important part and process is the way of life. Companies compete to reach highest CMM, ISO, PCMM standards. It is more of a pride to announce a company's quality position !! There is a constant benchmarking against competitors to enhance the standards... But, are we near to the goal of high quality and efficient process ??

To answer this, we should look beyond industries. Well, look at humans ! Humans are one of God's best creations. We are wonderful machines with highest efficiency, great defense systems, n-level recovery capabilities and not the last, well engineered production systems !!

Most amazing of humans is the process of reproduction. If you sit back and slowly understand the process from conception to delivery - you cannot but sit in awe. A very well built system with high precision of multiple stages with clockwork efficiency. Your kid at birth has already come a long way. To only understand this process, we need several hundred years more.

It only emphasis the common industry quotes - "Quality is a continuous process", "There is no finish line with Quality", "Improving Process capability".

So, let us not be happy with earthly comparisons; let us benchmark ourselves to our own selves !!

I bet you now feel, we have a long way to go....

It is important to learn from failures

As adults, we are afraid of failures ! We want to succeed always. Ah! what a pity? We do not understand the value of failures. We are told from the beginning that we should always win in a competing world. With this, we have already blocked one source of learning in our lives..

Do kids fear failures !? They do not know the word "failure" when they are born. They start their life only with failures. They start with a clean pad - as they grow they have to build perceptions, knowledge, feelings, IQ, personality.

Kids always learn from failures. It starts with locating the source of mother's milk and goes on with other activities like bringing hand to mouth, getting attention by crying, grasping with fingers, turning over and so on and lot more...

If they knew the fear of failure, they would have stopped enjoying childhood, stopped learning new skills, stopped having fun, stopped thrilling others..

We adults know the fear of failure, so we have some thinking to do; have we stopped enjoying adulthood, have we stopped learning new skills, have we stopped having fun, have we stopped being a joy for others...

Well, let us accept failures and learn from them. For no reason, have they said "Failures are stepping stones to success".

Positive words elicits positive atmosphere

In a lot of behaviour trainings, it is always explained how important it is to use positive words in inter-personal communication. It motivates people and builds up a healthy working atmosphere. These are nice to hear, but not easy to implement in a working atmosphere under pressure.

This theory got emphasized very much with my kids. I have twin daughters who are 3 months young now. It is very clear to them that they will laugh or smile back at you, only if you smile or laugh at them !!! They already demand positive energy. I have tried frowning at them, they frown back. I sometimes speak to them in a scolding tone, anyway they do not understand what I say !! But, alas their expression goes to sadness or complete dis-interest.

But, almost always, when I smile to them or talk to them in a very positive tone, I get back that smile which we always admire from kids - the one thing which makes us forget all the hardships and sacrifices behind rearing kids !

So, it is really true that positive energy builds a healthy atmosphere !!